Rethinking Life’s Disappointment: You’re Not Rejected, Just Redirected

"Each time my mind starts to spiral, I pause and breathe it in: “If it’s meant to be…” and breathe out: “…it’s meant for me.” My shoulders drop every time."

Have you ever had something fall through that you were sure was meant for you—a relationship, a job, a dream trip? I have. And in those moments, it’s so easy to spiral into Why not me? Will it ever work out? I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit. But what I’ve come to learn is this: sometimes that “no” is actually a redirection, not a rejection. It didn’t work out because something better—and truer to who you’re becoming—is on the way.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through setbacks is that I can choose how I respond to them. I don’t always get to choose the outcome, but I can choose the perspective I carry forward. Here are three reframes that help me move from disappointment to trust.

Reframe #1: “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant for me.”

This little mantra has carried me through some tough days. It helps me loosen my grip and remember that I don’t have to force what isn’t aligned.

• Detach identity from outcome. A closed door doesn’t mean I’m unworthy—it’s simply data.

• Check alignment with who I’m becoming. Sometimes the thing I thought was perfect on paper didn’t actually match the life or values I want to step into. That “no” may have been protection.

I’ll often write this mantra on a sticky note or keep it as my phone wallpaper. Each time my mind starts to spiral, I pause and breathe it in: “If it’s meant to be…” and breathe out: “…it’s meant for me.” My shoulders drop every time.

Reframe #2: “I’m held—by God, the universe, or divine timing.”

For me, it’s God. For you, it might be the universe, or simply the reminder that timing matters. The heart of this belief is the same: life isn’t punishing us; it’s preparing us.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back and thought, Thank goodness that didn’t work out. What felt like disappointment in the moment was actually making space for something better down the road.

One thing I do is keep a “Protection Log.” It’s just a simple list of past moments when things didn’t work out the way I wanted—but later, I could see the bigger picture. Having those reminders written down helps me stay anchored when I’m tempted to question everything.

Reframe #3: “Feel it—don’t live there.”

I’m not a fan of toxic positivity. Pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t just doesn’t work. But I’ve learned that while it’s important to feel the sadness, anger, or frustration, I don’t have to stay there forever.

When disappointment hits, I let myself feel it fully—cry, journal, go for a walk, or even scream into a pillow if that’s what I need. But then I give myself a container, not a lease. I set a timer for 10–15 minutes for what I call my Feel & Release Ritual:

1. Name the feeling (sad, mad, scared).

2. Move it through my body (breathwork, music, or a quick walk).

Ask one empowering question: What’s one small next step that honors me today?

Putting It Together: A Micro-Map for Hard Days

1. Pause the spiral. One hand on heart, one on belly. Say the mantra out loud.

2. Name alignment. Ask, “Would the future me choose this? Why or why not?”

3. Collect evidence. Revisit your Protection Log.

4. Feel & Release. Give the emotion a container, not a lease.

5. Act softly. One email, one nourishing meal, one small step. Gentle forward motion is enough.

A Final Word

You’re not behind; you’re becoming. The version of you on the other side of this disappointment is wiser, stronger, and ready for what’s next. The detour might just be the most direct route to the life you’re meant to live.

Want to go deeper with me on this? 🎧 Tune into the full Rise Up Buttercup podcast episode where I unpack these tools in more detail.

And if you’re craving a space to practice this kind of growth with others, I’d love to invite you into the RISE UP Community—a supportive group of women navigating life’s detours together with courage and confidence. 🌱 JOIN HERE.

Written by the team at A Higher Way Of Living