Dare to Dream Big: Setting Goals You’ll Actually Want to Crush

"Most people give up on their goals not because they're lazy or incapable, but because they set goals they think they SHOULD achieve."

A few weeks into the new year, and here we are. How’s it going? If you’re like most people, you probably started with a list of resolutions the size of Mount Everest. And maybe, just maybe, the enthusiasm you had on January 1st is starting to wane. You’re not alone.

Here’s the thing: Most people give up on their goals not because they’re lazy or incapable, but because they set goals they think they should achieve. You know the ones: “I should lose 20 pounds.” “I need to save $10,000.” “I have to run a marathon.”

Sound familiar? Those words—should, have to, need to—are heavy. They feel obligatory, like chores rather than dreams. And let’s be real, no one gets excited about a chore.

So, let’s flip the script. Let’s talk about setting goals that light you up inside, goals you’ll actually want to crush because they mean something to you.

Why "Should" Goals Don’t Work

When you set a goal based on what you think you should do, you’re often working from someone else’s script. Maybe society says you should look a certain way, so you put “get fit” on your list. Or maybe your parents always emphasized financial security, so you decide to save aggressively even though it doesn’t excite you.

The problem? These goals lack personal meaning. They don’t resonate with who you are or what makes you happy. When the excitement wears off and the grind kicks in, it’s easy to feel unmotivated. Because deep down, you’re not doing it for you.

How to Find Goals That Excite You

Now, I’m not saying you should toss responsibility out the window. (Adulting is still a thing, unfortunately.) But there’s a sweet spot between goals that are meaningful and goals that are practical. Here’s how to find it:

1. Get Curious About What Lights You Up
   Think back to moments when you felt truly alive. What were you doing? Who were you with? What dreams did you have before life got busy? Write these things down. Chances are, they hold clues to the kind of goals that will excite you.

2. Ask Yourself "Why?"
   For every goal you consider, ask yourself why you want it. If your answer is rooted in obligation or external pressure, it’s a red flag. But if your answer gives you butterflies or makes you smile, you’re onto something.

3. Think Big—Then Break It Down
   Don’t be afraid to dream big. Want to write a novel? Start your own business? Travel to Italy? Great! Now break it into smaller, actionable steps. Big dreams are less intimidating when you tackle them piece by piece.

4. Incorporate Joy into the Journey
   Goals shouldn’t feel like punishment. Find ways to make the process enjoyable. If you want to get healthy, choose a dance class instead of hitting the treadmill. If you’re saving money, treat yourself to small, guilt-free rewards along the way.

5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
   Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. Celebrate every small win, and don’t beat yourself up over setbacks. Remember, the goal is to create a life you love, not a life that looks perfect on Instagram.

A Goal-Setting Exercise to Try Today

Grab a notebook and write down:

• One thing you’ve always wanted to try but never have.

• One area of your life where you want to grow.

• One small change you could make today to feel happier or more fulfilled.

Take a look at your answers. Do any of these spark excitement? If so, you’ve just identified a goal worth pursuing.

Dare to Dream Big

The truth is, life is too short for goals that don’t light your soul on fire. This year, let’s ditch the resolutions that feel like obligations and embrace dreams that make us excited to wake up in the morning. Because when you’re chasing something you truly care about, you won’t just achieve your goals—you’ll thrive.

So, what’s your big dream? Write it down, believe in it, and take the first step today. You’ve got this.

Written by the team at A Higher Way Of Living