“Whenever you start to doubt yourself and your abilities, take a quick moment to scan your past and remember how far you’ve come.” - Amy Gerhartz
Have you ever found yourself struggling to be seen and heard? Perhaps it’s at work, in a relationship, with friends, family, or maybe even just by the person on the other end of a drive-through line that can’t seem to understand your order? Regardless of the circumstances, it can be incredibly frustrating when this happens, especially if the end result makes you feel powerless and deflated. It can be even more detrimental, if you then carry those feelings with you throughout the following days, weeks, months or years. So how do you stand up for yourself and own your power in moments like these, while keeping your composure in the process? And how do you bounce back quickly if you’re accidentally knocked off your game?
I’ve put together 5 tips that you can use to take back control of yourself, and to stand firmly in who you are.
If you’re always rushing around without creating space for yourself, it’s going to cause you to feel scatterbrained and overwhelmed, losing your foundation in the process. If you want to feel more in control, spend a few minutes getting centered and grounded with yourself daily. Here’s a great way to practice this: Every time you change your physical environment, going from one place to the next, create 30-60 seconds to breathe and ground yourself before carrying on with your day. As you inhale and exhale, imagine your breath traveling from the top of your head down to your feet, and then into the ground below you. Then you can reverse directions, and repeat as many times as you need to. You can also mentally set your intention for what you want to accomplish moving forward. This exercise will quickly clear your mind, so that you can focus on showing up as your badass self.
Whenever you start to doubt yourself and your abilities, take a quick moment to scan your past and remember how far you’ve come. I coach my clients through a process of writing their “power list”, which is all of the things they’ve accomplished and achieved in their lives so far. This list could also include any pain or heartbreak they’ve overcome. Then, I instruct them to read it out loud to themselves every day, to remind them of how powerful they really are. Make your own power list and take it with you wherever you go.
This might be difficult for some of you to hear (especially if you’re a people pleaser like I used to be), but at the end of the day, the only person whose approval and validation you need is your own. If you like you, and have a healthy relationship with you, then no one else’s opinions of you matter. The more comfortable you are with you, the less you feel the need to impress anyone else, and the less time you’ll seek reassurance from an outside source. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and you don’t have to be either. Be proud of who you are, own who you are, and know that those people who are closest to your heart love you just the way you are.
There are going to be times in life when, quite frankly, someone or something is going to piss you off. Because you’re human, your natural instinct might be to fight back… DON’T! When emotions are high, it’s like a smoke bomb exploding in our minds, and everything becomes confusing and chaotic. Give yourself space to take a step back, calm yourself, and allow your brain to clear. Then, you can decide if the situation is worth using your voice towards or not. Remember, it’s impossible to communicate with someone who is incapable of hearing you, so it’s your job to decide who, and what, you put your energy to go towards.
No matter what you do, there will always be people and events in life that are completely out of your control. You have a choice to allow these moments to consume your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, or you can choose to keep your power and remain calm. Being calm, quite frankly, is a superpower! Why? Because most people haven’t mastered this Jedi-level mindset skill. Being able to control your emotions and reactions is probably one of the most powerful tools you will ever have in your arsenal. It also immediately gives you authority, power and presence wherever you go.
If you’re struggling to control yourself, and need some additional guidance on how to create an incredible, POWERFUL, relationship with yourself and those around you, book a discovery call with me. I would be more than happy to support you and share some additional options!
Remember, you are one of a kind and absolutely worth it!